tenlittlebullets: (Default)
Okay. I'm going to try something. Since Tumblr seems to be going the way of LJ in terms of finding ever-more-pointless ways to piss off its userbase and make the site functionally unusable, I'm going to take a stab at a hybrid approach a few people have floated. The basic idea is to stop using Tumblr's semi-broken read-more feature and instead link to a full version posted on Dreamwidth--the other main benefit being that anything you'd use a cut for probably belongs somewhere with a comments section or somewhere with friends-lock controls or both. I'm going to combine that with going back through my meta tags and starting to copy old posts to Dreamwidth.

What does this mean if you're following me on Tumblr? Not much of a change, hopefully. You can still like/reblog/etc the Tumblr post with the pre-readmore intro in it. Clicking the link will take you to the full post in a slightly different layout, that's all, hopefully with a link back to the Tumblr version. (Also, if you start clicking around or backreading, bear in mind that you will probably stumble across some very old posts. This place is a mirror of a LiveJournal account I've had since I was a dweeby 15-year-old in 2003 and actively maintained until 2013.)

What does this mean if you've got me added on Dreamwidth or LJ? Fingers crossed, a small uptick in actual activity. Mostly in MCU fandom, so apologies to Les Mis or Doctor Who people who have no interest, and no hard feelings if you decide to drop this blog. The archiving of old meta posts will be backdated, so hopefully it shouldn't flood your f-list.

Tumblr version: http://shinelikethunder.tumblr.com/post/132507316276/lets-try-this-tumblrdreamwidth-thing-again
tenlittlebullets: (tl;dr)
(Archived from a Tumblr post at http://shinelikethunder.tumblr.com/post/105932488971/the-pie-initiative-shinelikethunder-more)

More musings on writing advice:

Honestly, I think “yes, you are allowed” is something a lot of fandom needs to hear right now. We had, what, a decade of “what not to do” writing advice, starting with anti-Mary-Sue campaigns and on through sporking and fanficrants and RaceFail, and now everything is this cracked parody of social justice and ~this is problematic~ is the ultimate “what not to do.” And just look at the messages we’ve taken to heart: don’t get too big for your britches, everything has to be accurate and realistic, no one the reader is supposed to sympathize with should be within shouting distance of “problematic.” We’re writing about these larger-than-life characters whose lives are full of over-the-top, implausible events, and it’s like we’re afraid that if we handwave or take narrative shortcuts or spin crazy yarns about their adventures or don’t treat Bad Shit Happening with the expected amount of solemnity, somebody’s going to call us out for not doing our due diligence.

In fact, the one “yes, you are allowed” message we’ve taken to heart is that we’re not beholden to the original canon, which is a phenomenon I… have mixed feelings about. But the point is, that message combined with the fear of fucking up, of writing “unrealistic” or “problematic” stories about monsters and aliens and superheroes, means that mundane AUs and domestic fic are the path of least resistance. And not only is fic being pushed towards the generic, the moral pressure that drives fandom SJ makes it feel almost… risky?… to stray from the fanon status quo. Breaking the mold, instead of being a sign of creativity, increasingly feels like a sign that you’re Doing It Wrong and may in fact be a bad person. I have seen people say that they want to write about post-CA:TWS Bucky but don’t, because they don’t want to slog through dealing with the “obligatory” recovery issues. Or that they’d feel guilty, like they were committing some sort of erasure, if they wrote pre-war fic without Queer Brooklyn and The Docks a bunch of romanticized-poverty porn.

For the love of God, fandom. You are allowed to come up with whatever fictional means you feel like to undo the Winter Soldier’s fictional (and almost totally unspecified) brainwashing. He’s an amnesiac cyborg assassin hopped up on a knockoff version of the super-serum that lets Steve Rogers get flung off a freeway overpass hard enough to overturn a bus and get up with barely a scratch. He starts getting memories back whenever they leave him out of cryo long enough. If you want the serum to heal his brain damage and leave him twitchy, angry, and guilt-ridden, but more-or-less compos mentis, so that he can go face down his demons without spending months on Steve’s couch eating soup and relearning how to be a human? YOU CAN. YOU ARE ALLOWED. THAT IS A STORY YOU ARE ALLOWED TO TELL. The “it was the super-healing” handwaving already puts you about fifteen realism steps ahead of the comics, where Steve used a magic monkey’s paw ex machina to bring back Bucky’s memories with the power of his love. And then a bunch of stuff happened and Bucky wrestled a bear in a Siberian gulag, okay, and this is the level of Srs Bsns we’re starting from.

You can do whatever the fuck you want. If you want to dwell lovingly on all the interpersonal issues and mental scarring that resulted from that time aliens made them do it because they got fake married in space, go for it. But do not pull out the DSM and start checking off PTSD symptoms out of a sense of duty if what you actually want to write is banter, UST, sarcasm about absurd situations, reckless displays of loyalty, and porn where they realize the depth and true nature of their feeeeeelings about each other. Both of those things are okay things to want.

tl;dr Internal story logic > realism. Write whatever ridiculous tropey or out-there shit you want, and use exactly as much judiciously-applied realism as you need to sell the story.

the-pie-initiative:
See, the thing about this critique is that I thought these stories where Bucky has PTSD were written by… people with actual PTSD. Or with eating disorders. Or who have some other actual trauma or disability they can apply to Bucky’s story.

I myself both love and hate the “wounded warrior” trope because I come from a rural area where a lot of my old high school friends actually have PTSD from fighting in Iraq. I hate it, because seeing Bucky in therapy is almost too real… and I love it, because there is at the same time too much silence and fear surrounding this topic, and I can tell that people are using fic to work through these issues in a way that is without precedent in most of the popular fiction I read.

The anger doesn’t come from a place where people see writing about anything but a hyper-realistic recovery story to be bad. The anger comes from the fact that fictional stories almost never got it right in the first place. For the love of God, please write more stories about Bucky wrestling bears… but also give us this space where we can work out the issues we still have after years and years of silence and misrepresentation.

Broski, literally nobody is attacking the right of people who want to write recovery stories to do so. “Write what you want” means “write what you want,” because the stories you’re itching to tell will probably end up more compelling and meaningful than the ones where you’re just going through the motions. And I have no doubt that a lot of the driving force behind the wave of recovery fic comes from people with that itch. But it’s such a dominant fanon trope that a lot of the people along for the ride are there because “that’s just what you do” or because they’re under social pressure to include it in their post-CA:TWS fic whether trauma/recovery narratives are what grab them or not. Where does that pressure come from? Uh, mostly from stuff like the immediate assumption that reminding people they’re allowed to skip over it is an attack on recovery fic and a dismissal of the experiences of people with PTSD.
If you wanna write it, write it. If you don’t, you’re better off skipping merrily over it and digging right into what you want to write than dutifully cooking up a halfassed Wikipedia version just to cover your bases. The problem isn’t that people want to write nitty-gritty explorations of PTSD, it’s that a lot of people whose fic ideas don’t involve focusing on PTSD (or Picturesque Poverty in Queer Brooklyn, or endless kink and relationship negotiation, or whatever) feel morally obligated to shoehorn it into the story anyway.

arsenicjade:
See, okay, I find all this interesting—I mean, I agree, one hundred and ten percent that fanfiction should be fanfiction, and that internal story logic trumps realism and all that—because I actually DO feel like those of us who WANT to write that recovery trope but who ARE NOT going to get out the DSM and go get our masters in clinical psych for our piece of fanfiction often do kind of get thrown to the wolves. Like, right after I posted one of my Bucky recovery fics, which I wrote because holy shit, I love recovery fics, I came across this tumblr post about how, if you had Bucky going to therapy, you were doing it wrong, and why. I can’t even tell you how terrified I am one day that I’ll write a rape recovery fic, since I legit love that story focus as well, and someone will rage at me about healing-cock. And the thing is, it’s not that I think cock heals a damn thing, okay? But I really do believe that if healing cock is your bag? You should get to write it without being shamed about it. Idk. I mean, do I think there are limits and things that shouldn’t be written? Yeah, I guess I do, because there’s been like, Holocaust glorification fic where I instinctively flinched with my entire SOUL. And yes, in the privacy of my heart, I judged that writer. But at the same time, I can’t be a hard core First Amendment believer, and believe that you know, Nazis should be able to march on Skokie, and not think that writer A shouldn’t get to write her Holocaust-kink porn just because it legit makes me want to be sick.

I guess, in the end, I’m just saying, I get that there are important social issues, and we should be kind to each other, so kind. But I think kindness also involves not shaming other people’s kinks. I.e., I like torturing people in my fic. I do NOT like torturing people irl. Consequently, I’m not going to assume that someone who writes something like healing cock actually thinks it works like that irl. I mean, maybe they do, and that’s a DIFFERENT discussion. But if it’s just their kink? They should be allowed to wallow in it as much as they want.
Nod nod nod. And the thing is, yes, a lot of the prescriptivist “what not to do” writing advice does come from tropes that ended up annoying a lot of people because they were so overdone and so cringe-worthy in their most hackneyed, badly-written forms. I’m the first to admit that I have a mile-long list of fic pet peeves. But the thing about those tropes is, most of them became overdone because there was something deeply appealing about them in the first place. If you start stressing yourself out about whether your fic contains the faintest whiff of healing cock, you’re already long past the point where trope familiarity has stopped helping you avoid the abyss and started making you shoot yourself in the foot.

And “healing cock,” like “manpain,” is one of those names that were coined to describe a very specific lazy-storytelling move that cashes in on the emotional impact of a particular narrative (reclaiming your sexuality after rape, grief over the suffering of someone you love) with blatant disrespect for the character whose suffering is being exploited. Fandom has an awful tendency to generalize both terms to include all writing about those subjects, which is poisonous bullshit because the whole reason those tropes suck is that they cheapen something powerful and important. Diluting them has a chilling effect on the very thing they were supposed to defend. “Healing cock” now means “any sex that ends up playing a positive role in rape recovery, and doesn’t meet some arbitrary standard of difficult, painful, fucked-up, and bleak.” So you know what? Give me all the healing cock. That is a story I want to read. I don’t give half a shit if it’s an “improbably” fluffy power fantasy. That’s why I want to read it. Wanting, and eventually having, certain kinds of sex was crucial to my own recovery from the get-go–you fucking bet I want to suck down the fictional version like delicious crack-laced candy.
tenlittlebullets: (winter soldier)
(Archived from a Tumblr post at http://shinelikethunder.tumblr.com/post/82859919063/whump-and-tropey-hc-appreciation-for-great-fandom)

This is not going to be coherent meta, but I just wanted to string some ideas together for possible later development:

Point 1: My Thing for pretty people getting punched in the face and bleeding prettily for their ideals is totally a kink, but it’s also, emotionally, about the idea of taking a lot of damage and hurting like fuck but still continuing to fight–that being hurt is not the same as being broken, that vulnerability is not helplessness, that fear doesn’t have to mean cowardice. The not giving up or being broken, at least not permanently, is crucial to what makes this particular emotional kink tick.

Point 2: grimdark is lazy, good is hard work. Go read it, it’s great meta.

Point 3: There are lots and lots of problems with what the misapplication of social-justice concepts has brought to fandom culture, and this is not the time to get into all of them, but a lot of them boil down to what is excusable versus what is the expected or commendable course of action. It’s most noticeable with the glorification of anger and verbal abuse, but there is a parallel glorification of helplessness in the way Tumblr SJ approaches victimhood, illness, disability, and arguably adversity in general: the refusal to shame people who are struggling or who’ve had bad things done to them has long since tipped over into the idea that it’s perfectly okay and normal to just roll over and give up, or even that trying to recover and get your shit together and fight back against the assorted corporeal and non-corporeal bogeymen in your life is implicitly shaming towards those who aren’t doing the same, and so you shouldn’t talk about it too loudly or too approvingly.

Point 4: I fucking hate this aspect of Tumblrfandom, and I hate it for the exact same reasons I hate gratuitous grimdark. It’s lazy. It normalizes and glorifies helplessness as the appropriate response to the existence of evil in the world. It demands not just pardon but approval for sitting back and doing nothing in the face of adversity. They’re two sides of the same shitty coin, and I wish the backlash against grimdark in media could be accompanied by a parallel backlash against fandom’s victimhood culture. I want to talk loudly and approvingly about narratives of being hurt and damaged and afraid and not giving up. Of fighting even when you can’t fix everything and you don’t think you’re going to win, because it would be wrong not to fight. Because sometimes it is wrong not to fight.

Point 5: In conclusion, it is really hard to dismantle and critique these trends in fandom (and a lot of activism in general, I think) and find ways to fight them without enabling the exact silencing/shaming behaviors that the original social justice concepts were designed to combat before they were distorted. But you know what? In this case, I don’t think an upswing in the kink described in Point 1 would hurt. At aaaall. Embrace your desire to whump the living hell out of your favorite characters just to watch them refuse to break, or break them just to watch them insist on putting themselves back together. Make them suffer deliciously for what they care about, because those kinds of narratives are delicious and viscerally satisfying and weirdly comforting for a reason.

Point 6: [image of Captain America on a WWII-era propaganda poster, bearing the caption: RESIST THE GRIMDARK INVASION / WITH HOT IDEALISTS GETTING BEATEN UP FIGHTING FOR WHAT’S RIGHT] [similar image, bearing the caption: WE BLEED SO PRETTY / BUT IT’S WORTH EVERY DROP]

Original Tumblr tags: #in a broader sense i think i only kink on a character's suffering if i think they can take it #like that is an integral part of the enjoyment #watching someone get kicked when they're down is no fun unless you know they're going to get back up #and knowing they've been totally fucked up but they're going to struggle back to their feet anyway is half the fun

In retrospect, this post doesn't even look like a harbinger of my imminent descent into the Hydra Trash Party landfill, it looks like a perfectly logical sequence of events. Note that my first post to actually use that tag was like... one week after this one.
tenlittlebullets: (TARDIS)


Look ma, I made a forum!

Tumblr seems to be where it's at these days, fandom-wise, but I know I'm not the only one reeling from the lack of discussion and conversational threads inherent to its format. I know lots of really awesome people there whom I'd love to actually talk to. Try to herd everyone back onto LJ/Dreamwidth? That horse has left the barn. And besides, I think I like forums better as fandom spaces better than LJ, heretical as that sounds--everything is topic-organized rather than date-/ownership-organized, so I can go post my thoughts on XYZ in an appropriate thread and not worry that I'm spamming everyone's flists or that, conversely, no one will see my comments because the post they're in has long since been buried.

So! A forum. It's not meant to replace anything, I don't think. More to fill (what I perceive to be) an unmet need in my corner of fandom.
tenlittlebullets: (TARDIS)
1. Ford's Theatre was short of ushers for 1776 last night, so [personal profile] mmebahorel and [personal profile] ladybranwen invited me along to pinch-hit. I agreed because hey, I get to see the show for free! It, uh, wasn't until I got there that I put my dates together and realized I was ushering at that Ford's Theatre on the anniversary of the Lincoln assassination. Fun and a little bit creepy.

2. Considering opening up a Doctor Who forum and inviting the entire Tumblr DW fandom along, because Tumblr is full of awesome people but it's frustrating to only ever interact with them in gifsets and quips. I miss conversation and long-form fangirling, dammit! And I miss forums as a fandom platform, and unlike LJ-based sites a forum could easily occupy a niche as a supplement, rather than a replacement, for Tumblr.

The problem is, what the fuck do I call it? Leaning towards some variant on the Time Vortex--a hangout place beyond time and space, and besides, it has the potential for endless jokes about overgrown eight-year-olds from Gallifrey Base going mad from staring too long into our wretched hive of slash and fangirling.
tenlittlebullets: (not obsessive. really.)
Helloooo, LJ. I have been so neglectful of you. This is not because I have nothing to say, more that I do not have much to say that's conducive to regular LJ updates; real life is largely boring, and my fandom engagement is split between quick bite-size hits (i.e. Tumblr, black hole of the internet) and fucking gigantic undertakings like DW season 6 fixit fic and Curse of Fenric meta. The gigantic things will make it to LJ, eventually, they are just in draft form at the moment.

I don't think I'm the only one with this problem--sometimes it feels like fandom is drifting away and I don't know where the fuck it is anymore. I mean yes, there is Tumblr, and fic still lives on LJ + various archives, but what about random-ass medium-length discussion and squee? I don't see as much of it lately. These thoughts are of course prompted by LJ's fucking stupid overhaul of the comment system, which is only going to disperse fandom even further. Oh, LJ, all of fandom's righteous outrage over your various fuck-ups wasn't enough to drive us away completely, but lack of functionality might just do the trick; how ignominious would it be if a comment page redesign succeeded where the Summer of Strikethrough failed? Not with a bang but a whimper, etc. And where would we go from there? Tumblr is fun but it is just does not support discussion or conversations well, and fandom couldn't move there completely without amputating half of what makes it what it is. Mailing lists are dead, private archives and personal webpages aren't sufficient. Dreamwidth is a possibility, but I have this sneaking suspicion that there's been a gradual, unintentional leakage of fannish participation from LJ-based platforms in general due to their limitations: decentralized, not easily searchable, and time-based in a way that makes content inexorably drift into the ether after a while. (Another strike against Tumblr: it has all of those problems, on steroids.)

I wish forums were more in vogue--I might be biased because Les Mis fandom has been primarily forum-based for a while, and because when I got online fandom was primarily based around the trifecta of forums (for discussion and ephemera), fic archives (for... fic), and personal sites (for more durable content). I suppose the problem, in the age of polyfannish community and big user-content-driven platforms, is the lack of a central clearinghouse--a big site where you can use one account and one identity to participate in a bunch of groups with different interests. There was a brief period circa 2002 where fanfiction.net had pretty awesome forums, thus fulfilling two roles of the pre-web-2.0 trifecta, but then came the Great Porn Ban and general deterioration, which coincided (though not coincidentally, I'll bet) with the rise of LJ as a pan-fandom hub.

So I suppose what I really, really want is some sort of One Platform to Rule Them All: a site with LJ's approach of individual and community accounts, with cross-posting and sitewide tag search capabilities à la Tumblr, where an account maintainer can set whether to sort posts by recently-posted (like blogs/LJ) or recently-commented (like forums). While I'm dreaming, it would be awesome if each account could have sub-pages with different sort/update settings--e.g. a community with a forum (recently-commented first) and a fic archive (recently-posted first), or a forum with sub-forums, or an individual blog with a fic journal and an icon journal attached. If you really wanted it to take over the world you could allow maintainers to (a) enable a dropdown box to sort the display by author/post title/most commented/etc, (b) create de-facto categories/directories by requiring posters to choose one or more of a selection of tags, (c) let community members edit any post in a particular sub-section, thus enabling limited wiki-style behavior, and (d) add unmoving/static posts such as stickies, or even a whole page of manually-sorted posts that would somewhat resemble a personal website, without recourse to backdating.

And you know, on the face of it it doesn't look that much harder to implement than LJ or AO3. Except sitewide search, which will always and forever be a pain in the ass. There would be issues balancing customizability (of display, journal structure, posting/commenting/editing access) with ease of use, but you could lay down templates ("I want this bit to behave like a blog/forum/wiki/archive...") and let users decide how much they want to fiddle. The other bugbear would be flists/subscriptions... making it easy for the user to separate blog-style subscriptions from forum-style ones if desired, to subscribe to a sub-journal but not the whole account, to show/hide cross-posts and reblogs that come up multiple times, etc. In practice there would probably be all sorts of unexpected implementation nightmares, but it's fun to dream about.
tenlittlebullets: (not obsessive. really.)
Helloooo, LJ. I have been so neglectful of you. This is not because I have nothing to say, more that I do not have much to say that's conducive to regular LJ updates; real life is largely boring, and my fandom engagement is split between quick bite-size hits (i.e. Tumblr, black hole of the internet) and fucking gigantic undertakings like DW season 6 fixit fic and Curse of Fenric meta. The gigantic things will make it to LJ, eventually, they are just in draft form at the moment.

I don't think I'm the only one with this problem--sometimes it feels like fandom is drifting away and I don't know where the fuck it is anymore. I mean yes, there is Tumblr, and fic still lives on LJ + various archives, but what about random-ass medium-length discussion and squee? I don't see as much of it lately. These thoughts are of course prompted by LJ's fucking stupid overhaul of the comment system, which is only going to disperse fandom even further. Oh, LJ, all of fandom's righteous outrage over your various fuck-ups wasn't enough to drive us away completely, but lack of functionality might just do the trick; how ignominious would it be if a comment page redesign succeeded where the Summer of Strikethrough failed? Not with a bang but a whimper, etc. And where would we go from there? Tumblr is fun but it is just does not support discussion or conversations well, and fandom couldn't move there completely without amputating half of what makes it what it is. Mailing lists are dead, private archives and personal webpages aren't sufficient. Dreamwidth is a possibility, but I have this sneaking suspicion that there's been a gradual, unintentional leakage of fannish participation from LJ-based platforms in general due to their limitations: decentralized, not easily searchable, and time-based in a way that makes content inexorably drift into the ether after a while. (Another strike against Tumblr: it has all of those problems, on steroids.)

I wish forums were more in vogue--I might be biased because Les Mis fandom has been primarily forum-based for a while, and because when I got online fandom was primarily based around the trifecta of forums (for discussion and ephemera), fic archives (for... fic), and personal sites (for more durable content). I suppose the problem, in the age of polyfannish community and big user-content-driven platforms, is the lack of a central clearinghouse--a big site where you can use one account and one identity to participate in a bunch of groups with different interests. There was a brief period circa 2002 where fanfiction.net had pretty awesome forums, thus fulfilling two roles of the pre-web-2.0 trifecta, but then came the Great Porn Ban and general deterioration, which coincided (though not coincidentally, I'll bet) with the rise of LJ as a pan-fandom hub.

So I suppose what I really, really want is some sort of One Platform to Rule Them All: a site with LJ's approach of individual and community accounts, with cross-posting and sitewide tag search capabilities à la Tumblr, where an account maintainer can set whether to sort posts by recently-posted (like blogs/LJ) or recently-commented (like forums). While I'm dreaming, it would be awesome if each account could have sub-pages with different sort/update settings--e.g. a community with a forum (recently-commented first) and a fic archive (recently-posted first), or a forum with sub-forums, or an individual blog with a fic journal and an icon journal attached. If you really wanted it to take over the world you could allow maintainers to (a) enable a dropdown box to sort the display by author/post title/most commented/etc, (b) create de-facto categories/directories by requiring posters to choose one or more of a selection of tags, (c) let community members edit any post in a particular sub-section, thus enabling limited wiki-style behavior, and (d) add unmoving/static posts such as stickies, or even a whole page of manually-sorted posts that would somewhat resemble a personal website, without recourse to backdating.

And you know, on the face of it it doesn't look that much harder to implement than LJ or AO3. Except sitewide search, which will always and forever be a pain in the ass. There would be issues balancing customizability (of display, journal structure, posting/commenting/editing access) with ease of use, but you could lay down templates ("I want this bit to behave like a blog/forum/wiki/archive...") and let users decide how much they want to fiddle. The other bugbear would be flists/subscriptions... making it easy for the user to separate blog-style subscriptions from forum-style ones if desired, to subscribe to a sub-journal but not the whole account, to show/hide cross-posts and reblogs that come up multiple times, etc. In practice there would probably be all sorts of unexpected implementation nightmares, but it's fun to dream about.

D*C!

Sep. 1st, 2011 01:31
tenlittlebullets: (triple nerd score)
Offff to Dragon*Con with [livejournal.com profile] ariastar and [livejournal.com profile] srevans! Weeping angel costume... okay, not finished, I still need to do a bit of glove-sewing and paint minor bits and bobs, but the wings and wing harness are totally redone and look awesome. Slightly nervous, as this will be my first big con, but v. excited! Backup/non-pain-in-the-ass-to-wear costume is the Master again--I even finally sucked it up and went to a barber and now vaguely resemble John Simm again. (Believe me, the haircut was long overdue, cosplay or no cosplay--I had been letting it grow long on top while halfassedly trimming the back with scissors from time to time, and not only was it all scraggly-looking in places, it turns out my hair just fluffs and refuses to spike or stand up when it gets too long, so I looked pretty stupid.) Aaaaah so much last-minute con panic, I don't even know what panels I want to go to, I fail at planning anything, etc... but it should be fun regardless. If my car doesn't lose its front bumper halfway to Atlanta, that is.

...seriously Dragon*Con you take up five hotels and have too many panels even to have a central listing of them. I need a goddamn Time-Turner to deal with this shit.

D*C!

Sep. 1st, 2011 01:31
tenlittlebullets: (triple nerd score)
Offff to Dragon*Con with [livejournal.com profile] ariastar and [livejournal.com profile] srevans! Weeping angel costume... okay, not finished, I still need to do a bit of glove-sewing and paint minor bits and bobs, but the wings and wing harness are totally redone and look awesome. Slightly nervous, as this will be my first big con, but v. excited! Backup/non-pain-in-the-ass-to-wear costume is the Master again--I even finally sucked it up and went to a barber and now vaguely resemble John Simm again. (Believe me, the haircut was long overdue, cosplay or no cosplay--I had been letting it grow long on top while halfassedly trimming the back with scissors from time to time, and not only was it all scraggly-looking in places, it turns out my hair just fluffs and refuses to spike or stand up when it gets too long, so I looked pretty stupid.) Aaaaah so much last-minute con panic, I don't even know what panels I want to go to, I fail at planning anything, etc... but it should be fun regardless. If my car doesn't lose its front bumper halfway to Atlanta, that is.

...seriously Dragon*Con you take up five hotels and have too many panels even to have a central listing of them. I need a goddamn Time-Turner to deal with this shit.
tenlittlebullets: (i am so good in this scene)
Things I have done in the past couple of days:

1. Took my little brother to get his eyebrow pierced.

2. Saw Thor.

3. Gave myself a haircut, then decided it was Drag Tiemz and made myself fake sideburns out of the trimmed hair and glued them on with hair gel, then looked in the mirror and did a fucking spit-take and went to see if there was any way I could cobble together a Ten costume. Unfortunately if there are two colors underrepresented in my wardrobe, they are blue and brown, but it is good to know that my hair is getting long enough to pull off Tenth Doctor cosplay. And that drag sideburns help.

4. Watched more Life on Mars, remain baffled by own sexual orientation. Really adored the fourth episode, but was more interested in classic Smith alum thinky thoughts about the portrayal and reactions to male-on-female versus female-on-male rape than in John Simm handcuffed naked to a bed. There is something wrong with me. It has nothing to do with not being attracted to men and everything to do with only being attracted to John Simm when he is playing an unhinged, sadistic megalomaniac.

5. Wrote fic! A little bit of fic. Master/Doctor/Jack year-that-never-was fic with a premise that could easily go places (and hit just about all the Doctor/Master fandom's collective kinks) if I ever get off my ass and develop it into the twisted, fucked-up porn epic it's dying to be when it grows up. For the moment it is just ficlet length. Behold! )
tenlittlebullets: (i am so good in this scene)
Things I have done in the past couple of days:

1. Took my little brother to get his eyebrow pierced.

2. Saw Thor.

3. Gave myself a haircut, then decided it was Drag Tiemz and made myself fake sideburns out of the trimmed hair and glued them on with hair gel, then looked in the mirror and did a fucking spit-take and went to see if there was any way I could cobble together a Ten costume. Unfortunately if there are two colors underrepresented in my wardrobe, they are blue and brown, but it is good to know that my hair is getting long enough to pull off Tenth Doctor cosplay. And that drag sideburns help.

4. Watched more Life on Mars, remain baffled by own sexual orientation. Really adored the fourth episode, but was more interested in classic Smith alum thinky thoughts about the portrayal and reactions to male-on-female versus female-on-male rape than in John Simm handcuffed naked to a bed. There is something wrong with me. It has nothing to do with not being attracted to men and everything to do with only being attracted to John Simm when he is playing an unhinged, sadistic megalomaniac.

5. Wrote fic! A little bit of fic. Master/Doctor/Jack year-that-never-was fic with a premise that could easily go places (and hit just about all the Doctor/Master fandom's collective kinks) if I ever get off my ass and develop it into the twisted, fucked-up porn epic it's dying to be when it grows up. For the moment it is just ficlet length. Behold! )
tenlittlebullets: (javert smacks a bitch)
I was roped into watching Doctor Who last night. Yes, it was geekily awesome; no, I have not drunk the kool-aid yet. It seems like everyone and his brother is trying to drag me into the Who fandom, both online and real life, and it really puts you off it, you know? The show was fun, but it would've been a lot more fun if I didn't have a bunch of people telling me all the best lines in advance and acting like I had two heads for not wanting Tennant's babies right from the get-go. I understand the urge to spread the love, but when people are pushy assholes about it, that just puts me off.

And I know a lot of very good friends who are reading this are in the fandom, and I swear to god that if any of you reply with "...but Who is awesome and you shouldn't let pushy fans keep you from watching it!" I will bludgeon you to death with the point that just flew over your head. I like discovering fandoms on my own, not with a chorus of people peering over my shoulder and going "So do you like it yet?"

Unrelatedly, there is something sadistically beautiful about watching Wall Street implode. I know it will make the economy bomb and everyone will be hurting soon, but still, it's like the malicious satisfaction of seeing a bunch of sharks rip each other to shreds.
tenlittlebullets: (javert smacks a bitch)
I was roped into watching Doctor Who last night. Yes, it was geekily awesome; no, I have not drunk the kool-aid yet. It seems like everyone and his brother is trying to drag me into the Who fandom, both online and real life, and it really puts you off it, you know? The show was fun, but it would've been a lot more fun if I didn't have a bunch of people telling me all the best lines in advance and acting like I had two heads for not wanting Tennant's babies right from the get-go. I understand the urge to spread the love, but when people are pushy assholes about it, that just puts me off.

And I know a lot of very good friends who are reading this are in the fandom, and I swear to god that if any of you reply with "...but Who is awesome and you shouldn't let pushy fans keep you from watching it!" I will bludgeon you to death with the point that just flew over your head. I like discovering fandoms on my own, not with a chorus of people peering over my shoulder and going "So do you like it yet?"

Unrelatedly, there is something sadistically beautiful about watching Wall Street implode. I know it will make the economy bomb and everyone will be hurting soon, but still, it's like the malicious satisfaction of seeing a bunch of sharks rip each other to shreds.
tenlittlebullets: (ickle cosette cries)
I raised my eyebrows at LJ's handling of strikethrough07, but assumed it was a horribly abortive attempt to cover their asses and rolled my eyes at the great majority of the fandom outrage that continued after the explanation posts. Striketwo, however, is just plain shitty customer service, and any attempt to go into more detail about the many ways it is wrong on so many levels will go on for hours and hours. Some major wtfs, though, are SA's misrepresentation of the legal issues, the whole pro-ana asplosion, burr86 not having a private and non-corporate-affiliated journal for his mockity mock mock, the lack of reimbursement for permabanned paid users (which is illegal under 6A's precious California law), and--oh yeah--the contradictions, the waffling, LJ staff offering conflicting explanations of the TOS, 6A going back on their word without announcing anything, and the general total lack of transparency and epic fail at providing clear answers. The stupid is mind-boggling.

And really, the only thing it makes me want to do is intersperse your regularly scheduled photo posts with underage teenage frenchboy porn. After all, who here would object to a detailed recounting of Courfeyrac's loss of virginity? :D (Besides Warriors for Innocence, that is, but they don't count.) I'm sure he didn't wait until he was eighteen.

Should banination for underage frenchboy porn occur, my entire journal is backed up to greatestjournal under the username julyinhereyes.
tenlittlebullets: (ickle cosette cries)
I raised my eyebrows at LJ's handling of strikethrough07, but assumed it was a horribly abortive attempt to cover their asses and rolled my eyes at the great majority of the fandom outrage that continued after the explanation posts. Striketwo, however, is just plain shitty customer service, and any attempt to go into more detail about the many ways it is wrong on so many levels will go on for hours and hours. Some major wtfs, though, are SA's misrepresentation of the legal issues, the whole pro-ana asplosion, burr86 not having a private and non-corporate-affiliated journal for his mockity mock mock, the lack of reimbursement for permabanned paid users (which is illegal under 6A's precious California law), and--oh yeah--the contradictions, the waffling, LJ staff offering conflicting explanations of the TOS, 6A going back on their word without announcing anything, and the general total lack of transparency and epic fail at providing clear answers. The stupid is mind-boggling.

And really, the only thing it makes me want to do is intersperse your regularly scheduled photo posts with underage teenage frenchboy porn. After all, who here would object to a detailed recounting of Courfeyrac's loss of virginity? :D (Besides Warriors for Innocence, that is, but they don't count.) I'm sure he didn't wait until he was eighteen.

Should banination for underage frenchboy porn occur, my entire journal is backed up to greatestjournal under the username julyinhereyes.
tenlittlebullets: (tl;dr)
Two links, both from metafandom. I'd expound upon them, but I already have in the comments. ;)

1. On the nature of Sues - "Mary Sue, I hold, is the phenomenon that results when an author(broadly construed) writes one or more characters in such a way that the author and that character deny other characters the right to be central to their own stories. Everything else is merely incidental." This is a way more coherent, refined, and solid version of my theory on what makes a Sue a Sue.

2. Fanfiction as a dramatic (as opposed to literary) art form: Part One | Part Two | Part Three. Lots of really neat stuff; the bits about the physicality and the almost scriptlike aspects of fanfiction were intriguing, but what really got me was the exploration of repeated tropes and plot lines being related to fanfiction as performance art. "Once a story supplements canon -- giving us something the original source did not by filling in a missing scene, getting inside a character's head, interpreting or clarifying or departing from the story as originally told -- future supplements become inevitable, and they aren't any more redundant than multiple productions of Hamlet."
tenlittlebullets: (tl;dr)
Two links, both from metafandom. I'd expound upon them, but I already have in the comments. ;)

1. On the nature of Sues - "Mary Sue, I hold, is the phenomenon that results when an author(broadly construed) writes one or more characters in such a way that the author and that character deny other characters the right to be central to their own stories. Everything else is merely incidental." This is a way more coherent, refined, and solid version of my theory on what makes a Sue a Sue.

2. Fanfiction as a dramatic (as opposed to literary) art form: Part One | Part Two | Part Three. Lots of really neat stuff; the bits about the physicality and the almost scriptlike aspects of fanfiction were intriguing, but what really got me was the exploration of repeated tropes and plot lines being related to fanfiction as performance art. "Once a story supplements canon -- giving us something the original source did not by filling in a missing scene, getting inside a character's head, interpreting or clarifying or departing from the story as originally told -- future supplements become inevitable, and they aren't any more redundant than multiple productions of Hamlet."
tenlittlebullets: (tea?)
I go through fandoms much like I do love affairs, and I'm afraid that after just over a year the passion has abated and I'm being distracted by new shiny.  I'm not quite sure I'm ready to declare a fandom switch though: the Les Mis love is very much alive, if rather tired, and as lovely as the books are, I'm really not sure about the Lord of the Rings fandom at all.

In the realm of LM being alive and kicking, however wearily: have almost finished a crack!humor fic that awaits only its conclusion.  I'm also refining and reorganizing the random, spastic meta on my website to make it more presentable and coherent.  And planning to see the revival in December.  In a more general sense, if this ceases to be my primary fandom--which might not happen anytime soon--the parting will be on far better terms than some previous fandoms.  I still love it, make no mistake, it's just lost some of its spark.  We'll see what happens.

I have some very serious misgivings about entering the Lord of the Rings fandom, though.  The most minor is that I've been hanging around small fandoms for a long time and I'd be out of my comfort zone.  Wouldn't know where to begin, haha.  The other thing is... well... I don't want a crazy fandom ruining a perfectly good book.  Bad slash and Eowyn-boppers and Legolas fangirls and ship wars and crazeh and wank and I just don't want to fucking deal with it all.  At the moment I just sort of want to admire Tolkien's storytelling and geek out about his languages in peace, maybe among a small circle of fellow geeks.

Anyway.  I know there are a few LotR and Silmarillion fans hanging about, and so I implore your help in the delicate matter of approaching the fandom.  (After all, one does not simply walk into the LotR fandom: there is batshit there that never--*ducks rotten fruit*)  General recommendations for sites, forums, and communities to check out are always welcome, but I have two rather more specific requests: resources about the languages of Middle-Earth, and really good gen fic.  Gen only at the moment, heh.



(I know that there are several people on my flist who dislike LotR or have a low opinion of fantasy in general.  If you are one of these people, kindly keep that opinion to yourself, because fandom is a matter of personal preference.  Snide comments are not amusing and not welcome.)

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