tenlittlebullets | (no subject)

Also: The scale of fandom pairing plausibility meme, stolen from

mhari.

The Scale

0 - I really don't think these people would ever have mutually desirable sex or enter into a romantic relationship based on my textual interpretation of canon, and no one has yet convinced me otherwise. This may be because I don't want to be convinced.

1 - Given a bizarre enough setup, a good author can convince me that they might have sex or enter into a romantic relationship for the duration of the story, but as soon as I'm done, I'll go back to thinking they could never have sex or enter into a romantic relationship. In general, I don't want to see them in a relationship.

2 - They're clearly not having sex or a romantic relationship in canon, but they occasionally act, in my reading, as though they want to have sex or romance with each other. I generally don't think of it as likely.

3 - I think it's possible, based on canon, that they would have sex or enter into a romantic relationship. Sometimes, I choose to avoid that interpretation, and sometimes I choose to enjoy it.

4 - There is a lot of canon that I can interpret as these characters expressing desire for each other in a sexual or romantic sense, and there is only a little canon that contradicts this interpretation. I enjoy interpreting canon This may be because they have a strong emotional relationship in canon, or because they are pretty together.

5 - There is so much canon that I believe points toward the possibility and mutual desirability of a sexual relationship between them that I have trouble remembering it's not actually canon, even while I am reading that canon. This may be because I want it to be canon, or because I have metatextual knowledge of the creators' intentions about the characters.

6 - It's canon that they're having sex or are involved in a romantic relationship, and the vast majority of fans accept it, whether or not they like it.

Les Mis

0 - No way, no how: Enjolras/Eponine. The ultimate crack!pairing, except when people take it seriously. Really, WTF? They've never met; she's completely fixated on Marius; he's completely fixated on the revolution and doesn't even like girls. Stop pairing up characters just because they're pretty and they don't have an S.O.

1 - Convince me: Marius/Eponine. "Convince me" pretty much sums it up: present me with a good enough AU setup and I might believe it, but as things stood in canon, not gonna happen. I don't ship it, but I'd read it if it were well written. Which it almost never is.

2 - It's vaguely possible: Valjean/Javert. Obviously they have tension liek whoa in canon, but I usually don't think of it as sexual or romantic tension except in the sense that they both act completely asexual and are probably shunting any sexual energy into aggression towards one another. I can't picture them having sex and frankly I don't want to because that's a disturbing mental image, but I could be led to believe they've got a slashy vibe.

3 - I can see it, sometimes: Courfeyrac/Marius. I don't think they were presented as extremely slashy, but they were roommates, and Courfeyrac was an incorrgible flirt. (Not to mention "I've come to sleep with you" is canon, dammit.) Also Grantaire/Enjolras. Grantaire being madly in love with Enjolras is more like a 5 or a 6, but due to E's general bitchiness, asexuality, and dislike for Grantaire, it would take a bit of convincing to make it both plausible and mutual.

4 - They're probably doing it: Les Amis. Any of them, all of them. Perhaps this is just the natural reaction of an inveterate slasher when confronted with a room full of prettyboys, but somehow they all seem ambiguously gay in some way or another and Hugo doesn't do much to contradict this impression. (The pretty doesn't hurt either, though.)

5 - What do you mean they're not?: Unrequited Grantaire/Enjolras is a 5.5 for reasons that should be self-evident. And Joly/Bossuet/Musichetta... well.

6 - Canon: Awwww, wookit the kyuute widdle Marius and Cosette.

Phantom

0 - No way, no how: Erik/post-story OFC. No. Just... no. *sporks*

1 - Convince me: Erik/pre-story OFC. Has to be handled delicately, though, because one of the major points is that no one has ever shown him much affection, physically or emotionally. I can see him in a stormy and dysfunctional relationship in his youth, sorta, but please no pre-Christine Twoo Wuvs.

2 - It's vaguely possible: Erik/Raoul. Much, much slashier in the movie than anywhere else, and even there it's barely even subtext, but something must be made of all the double entendres in "Bravo, Monsieur."

3 - I can see it, sometimes: Christine/Meg, musical!verse. And I can just see poor, confused little Meg following Christine around like a lost puppy and being heartbroken when she discovers the whole Phantom brouhaha.

4 - They're probably doing it: In the newest movie? Erik/Mme Giry. HAHAHA, FANBRATS, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES. In the book, Erik/Persian.

5 - What do you mean they're not?: Managerslash. Nuff said.

6 - Canon: Raoul/Christine, with Erik/Christine clocking in at about a 5.8.

Star Wars

0 - No way, no how: Luke/Han. Just doesn't work for me--I never perceived them as anything other than really good friends.

1 - Convince me: Padme/Obi-Wan. Not generally my cup of tea, but I could certainly see them bonding over how impossible Anakin is.

2 - It's vaguely possible: Alliance High Command orgies. Yay tentacle porn.

3 - I can see it, sometimes: Palpatine/Anakin. Which might be a bit higher up on the scale if it didn't break my brain.

4 - They're probably doing it: Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan. They definitely loved each other, even if it wasn't a sexual relationship.

5 - What do you mean they're not?: Anakin/Obi-Wan. Painfully, bleedingly obvious. Also Luke/Leia, 'cause for kid-friendly movies there sure are a lot of plausible squick pairings.

6 - Canon: Han/Leia kicks Anakin/Padme's sorry behind.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

ahahaha. Erik/Persian? Come on, that's at least a 4.5. What about the part where poor daroga almost drowned because he forgot the safe word? (wait, didn't that happen twice?)

...

Damn you. I am so, so tempted to steal this meme now.

I agree on all counts. The counts with which I'm familiar, that is, meaning the Phantom ones. Though, like

in_a_greenhouse, I think Erik/Daroga is up a tad higher. XD

Yeah, I pretty much agree with all the results for all three fandoms. u___u In other news, 'pretty together' is just about the most accurate description of all kinds of ~~amiorgy~~ amislash ever.

Your strikethrough made me think... has anyone ever written a full-on Ami orgy? Like, all of them, all at the same time? 'Cause that'd be hardxc0re, yo. And also rather confusing, just in terms of who belongs to which limbs. o_O

*gigglesnort*

I don't think it would read very smoothly if names were to be mentioned and who was doing exactly what to whom with which extremity -- ......but I think something vague and atmospherical, you know, might be written, if not yet then sometime in the future.

...Up for it?

As, say, a collaboration? *wicked grin* I'll have to wait and see what my homework load is like after break, but the idea is intriguing.

I know you're not hanging around the HP fandom anymore, but I am morbidly curious what you would/did ship. :D

(Me myself? I like Padme/Obi-Wan way a lot. And Luke/Leia = canon.)

*ponders for a second* Hmmmm. Harry/Snape = 0, Harry/Hermione = 1, Harry/Draco = 2, Tom/Ginny = 3 at least, Remus/Sirius = 4, Ron/Hermione = 5, Harry/Ginny (much though I hate to admit it) = 6.

(And going into the realms of crackfic? If Harry got mysteriously transported back to 1944, he would so end up doing Tom Riddle.)

HBP:

The door creaked open. There on the threshold, holding an old-fashioned lamp, stood a boy Harry recognised at once: tall, pale, dark-haired and handsome -- the teenage Voldemort.

*

Harry looked around as Dumbledore appeared beside him and saw that they were standing in Slughorn's office. Half a dozen boys were sitting around Slughorn, all on harder or lower seats than his, and all in their mid-teens. Harry recognised Riddle at once. His was the most handsome face...

*

... followed by a tall young man Harry had no difficulty whatsoever in recognising as Voldemort. He was plainly dressed in a black suit; his hair was a little longer than it had been at school and his cheeks were hollowed, but all of this suited him: he looked more handsome than ever.

Yeah, I have no problem believing it.

Oh, please do wait for until after break -- and I hope you don't have too much homework. Because I was going to make you write all of it. XD