Ten Little Chances to be Free (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tenlittlebullets) wrote2006-06-25 12:13 pm
tenlittlebullets) wrote2006-06-25 12:13 pm
(no subject)
Anyone remember the "Top Ten Trivia Tips About ______" meme? I re-stumbled upon it and giggled a lot when the results were scarily apropos.
- Jean Valjean is physically incapable of sticking his tongue out!
- Valjean can jump up to sixteen times his own height!
- Czar Paul I banished Enjolras to Siberia for marching out of step. (This could be a problem in One Day More.)
- It's bad luck for a flag to touch Enjolras.
- If you put a drop of liquor on Enjolras, he will go mad and sting himself to death.
- The fingerprints of Javert are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene!
- Javert has often been found swimming miles from shore in the Indian Ocean.
- Only fifty-five percent of men wash their hands after using Fantine.
- Women shoplift four times more frequently than Thénardier. (That's impressive.)
- Thénardier is the world's largest rodent.
- Native Americans never actually ate Marius Pontmercy; killing such a timid prey was thought to indicate laziness.
- In Japan it is considered rude to talk with Doltmercy in your mouth.
- Contrary to popular belief, Eponine is not successful at sobering up a drunk person, and in many cases she may actually increase the adverse effects of alcohol.
- Eponine can give birth ten days after being born, and is born pregnant.
- Les Amis de l'ABC have a memory span of three seconds. (Collective memory span?)
- The average duration of sexual intercourse for the Amis de l'ABC is two minutes.
- Europe is the only continent that lacks les Amis. (What?!)
- All of the roles in Shakespeare's plays - including the female roles - were originally played by les Amis.
- On average, women blink nearly twice as much as Grantaire! (You can't blink when you're passed out, after all.)
- If you kiss Courfeyrac for one minute you will burn six or seven calories.
- By tradition, a girl standing under Courfeyrac cannot refuse to be kissed by anyone who claims the privilege.
- The air around Courfeyrac is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun. (Now, I know the others gave more light and he gave more heat, but that's just ridiculous.)
- Jean Prouvaire is actually a vegetable, not a fruit.
- Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of Joly.
And! Notre-Dame de Paris bonus round!
- Claude Frollo is incapable of sleep.
- The number one cause of blindness in the United States is Frollo! (*DIES* Oh my god.)
- Pierre Gringoire will often rub up against people to lay his scent and mark his territory. (You know, I thought there was something funny about how much he liked Djali.)
- Gringoire can use only about ten percent of his brain.
- You can tell if Esmeralda has been hard-boiled by spinning her. If she stands up, she is hard-boiled.
Also, because it amused me immensely:
- Maximilien Robespierre can remain conscious for fifteen to twenty seconds after being decapitated.
- Saint-Just was banned from Finland because of not wearing pants.
- Jean Valjean is physically incapable of sticking his tongue out!
- Valjean can jump up to sixteen times his own height!
- Czar Paul I banished Enjolras to Siberia for marching out of step. (This could be a problem in One Day More.)
- It's bad luck for a flag to touch Enjolras.
- If you put a drop of liquor on Enjolras, he will go mad and sting himself to death.
- The fingerprints of Javert are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene!
- Javert has often been found swimming miles from shore in the Indian Ocean.
- Only fifty-five percent of men wash their hands after using Fantine.
- Women shoplift four times more frequently than Thénardier. (That's impressive.)
- Thénardier is the world's largest rodent.
- Native Americans never actually ate Marius Pontmercy; killing such a timid prey was thought to indicate laziness.
- In Japan it is considered rude to talk with Doltmercy in your mouth.
- Contrary to popular belief, Eponine is not successful at sobering up a drunk person, and in many cases she may actually increase the adverse effects of alcohol.
- Eponine can give birth ten days after being born, and is born pregnant.
- Les Amis de l'ABC have a memory span of three seconds. (Collective memory span?)
- The average duration of sexual intercourse for the Amis de l'ABC is two minutes.
- Europe is the only continent that lacks les Amis. (What?!)
- All of the roles in Shakespeare's plays - including the female roles - were originally played by les Amis.
- On average, women blink nearly twice as much as Grantaire! (You can't blink when you're passed out, after all.)
- If you kiss Courfeyrac for one minute you will burn six or seven calories.
- By tradition, a girl standing under Courfeyrac cannot refuse to be kissed by anyone who claims the privilege.
- The air around Courfeyrac is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun. (Now, I know the others gave more light and he gave more heat, but that's just ridiculous.)
- Jean Prouvaire is actually a vegetable, not a fruit.
- Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of Joly.
And! Notre-Dame de Paris bonus round!
- Claude Frollo is incapable of sleep.
- The number one cause of blindness in the United States is Frollo! (*DIES* Oh my god.)
- Pierre Gringoire will often rub up against people to lay his scent and mark his territory. (You know, I thought there was something funny about how much he liked Djali.)
- Gringoire can use only about ten percent of his brain.
- You can tell if Esmeralda has been hard-boiled by spinning her. If she stands up, she is hard-boiled.
Also, because it amused me immensely:
- Maximilien Robespierre can remain conscious for fifteen to twenty seconds after being decapitated.
- Saint-Just was banned from Finland because of not wearing pants.