Ten Little Chances to be Free (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tenlittlebullets) wrote2007-12-26 09:00 pm
tenlittlebullets) wrote2007-12-26 09:00 pm
Entry tags:
Validate me, you whores!
I feel... I don't know. Ignored might be the word. Like I keep shouting into the void about things that really excite me, and the answer isn't just "Oh that's nice, you loser," it's silence. I know I'm an enormous nerd and I have this compulsive drive to be a know-it-all, but I try to share my nerd-dom and my sources and the reasons for my squee, in the vain hope that maybe someone else will be just as excited about it--excited enough to do some nerdy things of their own, or critique mine, or enter into some sort of dialogue.
I mean, what has my Les Mis obsession driven me to do? I've written a couple fics and made a few icons, yeah, but I've also written all this meta. I've read thousands of pages of historical research, I've tracked down obscure annotated editions of the book so I could type up the deleted scenes and translate them. I've typed up and translated primary sources--mostly Révolutions du XIXe siècle, but other stuff too. I mod three comms, one of which is still active, I've made costumes, I've bought obscure French film adaptations on ebay.fr. I've seen the show 60+ times, I've tracked down cast lists and label information for every cast recording in existence, I've collected hundreds of bootlegs and recorded dozens more. I've found period maps of Paris and shared in Hugo's obsession for the places he describes in his book, and I've gone to France and visited them myself and barely anybody cared when I posted the pictures. Right now I'm translating the lyrics of the PRC back into English for one of two active forums still in existence, and the person who originally requested them hasn't even bothered to reply. I just... why? The people on this particular forum pay more attention to me when I snark reflexively at n00bs than when I spend an hour with Google and a French/English dictionary trying to find a phrase that expresses both the meaning and the slanginess of the Thénardiers' lyrics.
And now I feel guilty for being resentful about this, because it looks awfully close to a "look what I've done for you, you ungrateful hags!" snit. But it's not that, not entirely; I do all this because I love it, because it interests me. It's just that I wish I weren't the only one. I'd love more conversation and dialogue about all this, but failing that it would be nice to have some acknowledgement. I realize that not everyone has the means or the volition to go out to Montfermeil or translate Amis du Peuple pamphlets, but when nobody even looks at that and goes "wow, that's cool," I feel like a crazy lady who's wasting her time on things that nobody else gives a shit about.
At least Simon likes me. He sat on my shoulder all evening. :D (He's one heavy bird...) But he's going back to his mommy at the end of the week, and then my life will go back to being an endless abyss of woe, misery, and doom.
I think I'll go translate "At the End of the Day" now.
I mean, what has my Les Mis obsession driven me to do? I've written a couple fics and made a few icons, yeah, but I've also written all this meta. I've read thousands of pages of historical research, I've tracked down obscure annotated editions of the book so I could type up the deleted scenes and translate them. I've typed up and translated primary sources--mostly Révolutions du XIXe siècle, but other stuff too. I mod three comms, one of which is still active, I've made costumes, I've bought obscure French film adaptations on ebay.fr. I've seen the show 60+ times, I've tracked down cast lists and label information for every cast recording in existence, I've collected hundreds of bootlegs and recorded dozens more. I've found period maps of Paris and shared in Hugo's obsession for the places he describes in his book, and I've gone to France and visited them myself and barely anybody cared when I posted the pictures. Right now I'm translating the lyrics of the PRC back into English for one of two active forums still in existence, and the person who originally requested them hasn't even bothered to reply. I just... why? The people on this particular forum pay more attention to me when I snark reflexively at n00bs than when I spend an hour with Google and a French/English dictionary trying to find a phrase that expresses both the meaning and the slanginess of the Thénardiers' lyrics.
And now I feel guilty for being resentful about this, because it looks awfully close to a "look what I've done for you, you ungrateful hags!" snit. But it's not that, not entirely; I do all this because I love it, because it interests me. It's just that I wish I weren't the only one. I'd love more conversation and dialogue about all this, but failing that it would be nice to have some acknowledgement. I realize that not everyone has the means or the volition to go out to Montfermeil or translate Amis du Peuple pamphlets, but when nobody even looks at that and goes "wow, that's cool," I feel like a crazy lady who's wasting her time on things that nobody else gives a shit about.
At least Simon likes me. He sat on my shoulder all evening. :D (He's one heavy bird...) But he's going back to his mommy at the end of the week, and then my life will go back to being an endless abyss of woe, misery, and doom.
I think I'll go translate "At the End of the Day" now.