Not personally offended, because I wasn't involved or anything. But I find it incredibly skeevy. I'd repost bits of the comment threads, but they were from a locked post, and we were both venting so it tended to wander into generalized feminist ranting--on objectification of women's bodies and why groping/debauchery/boundary-lowering that happens in private shouldn't be brought into the public space of a con, but also on things like rape and "she was asking for it" and jerks who harass random women and self-esteem being tied to physical attractiveness.
The main reasons I find it incredibly skeevy:
1. I get that grope parties and lowering of physical boundaries and such happens all the time at cons--in private, between friends or like-minded acquaintances. The OSBP in its earliest, "Hey, you can touch my boobs, it's not a big deal" stage doesn't seem much different, but dragging it into the public space of the con--including accosting the random girl in the princess outfit who was "putting her assets on display" (which reeks of "well she was asking for it," IMO)--made it skeevy. In private it can be a safe space; in public those boundaries exist for a reason.
2. Okay, maybe I am offended that the same old objectifying shit got repackaged and labelled as progressive and empowering. Because "I may not yet know your mind but your body is beautiful," followed by a request to cop a feel and not a request to get to know your mind, is exactly the same as reducing a woman to her body parts, just dressed up in prettier language. And if it was this high-minded attempt to break down the shame around bodies and touching, why was it about women getting touched and not everybody? Corollary: Somebody made the excellent point that when a guy gropes a girl, it's assumed that he's the one getting something out of it (oooh, boobies!)--and that when a girl gropes a guy, he's still the one getting something out of it (ooh, female attention!). Obviously there are situations and safe spaces where this gets thrown out the window, but the OP made a big deal out of guys touching girls (guy gets something out of it) and girls touching girls (guy watches, gets something out of it; and/or the idea that f/f sexuality "doesn't count" except with a male to validate it), and a lesser deal out of girls touching guys (guy gets something out of it). No mention whatsoever of guys touching guys. I find that pretty telling, personally.
3. That incredibly skeevy part about girls coming up to them and asking if their breasts were "good enough" to be touched. Which leads back to the incredibly fucked-up idea of women's worth as people being tied up in the desirability of their bodies, because the way the OP described it, it sounded like they were validating these girls as people by admiring their bodies. Never mind the issue of who the fuck set him up as the supreme authority of whether their boobs were worthy, or whether being felt up by geeks desperate for Teh Boobage is worth much as a compliment.
4. And finally, there's the fact that most moderately attractive members of the female sex might as well walk around with green "Yes, it is okay to ask if you can touch me" buttons every goddamn day whether we want to or not. That most of us have dealt with guys who construe anything less than a swift kick to the nuts as an open invitation to stare, leer, flirt, follow, harass, grope, rape. That a lot of us are sick of this shit, sick of having "well she put up with my attempts to converse with her" mean "so obviously she wouldn't mind if I stuck my hand between her legs," and in that kind of language what does "well she said I could touch her boobs" mean?
And that is how the comment thread veered off into general feminist ranting. XD
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The main reasons I find it incredibly skeevy:
1. I get that grope parties and lowering of physical boundaries and such happens all the time at cons--in private, between friends or like-minded acquaintances. The OSBP in its earliest, "Hey, you can touch my boobs, it's not a big deal" stage doesn't seem much different, but dragging it into the public space of the con--including accosting the random girl in the princess outfit who was "putting her assets on display" (which reeks of "well she was asking for it," IMO)--made it skeevy. In private it can be a safe space; in public those boundaries exist for a reason.
2. Okay, maybe I am offended that the same old objectifying shit got repackaged and labelled as progressive and empowering. Because "I may not yet know your mind but your body is beautiful," followed by a request to cop a feel and not a request to get to know your mind, is exactly the same as reducing a woman to her body parts, just dressed up in prettier language. And if it was this high-minded attempt to break down the shame around bodies and touching, why was it about women getting touched and not everybody?
Corollary: Somebody made the excellent point that when a guy gropes a girl, it's assumed that he's the one getting something out of it (oooh, boobies!)--and that when a girl gropes a guy, he's still the one getting something out of it (ooh, female attention!). Obviously there are situations and safe spaces where this gets thrown out the window, but the OP made a big deal out of guys touching girls (guy gets something out of it) and girls touching girls (guy watches, gets something out of it; and/or the idea that f/f sexuality "doesn't count" except with a male to validate it), and a lesser deal out of girls touching guys (guy gets something out of it). No mention whatsoever of guys touching guys. I find that pretty telling, personally.
3. That incredibly skeevy part about girls coming up to them and asking if their breasts were "good enough" to be touched. Which leads back to the incredibly fucked-up idea of women's worth as people being tied up in the desirability of their bodies, because the way the OP described it, it sounded like they were validating these girls as people by admiring their bodies. Never mind the issue of who the fuck set him up as the supreme authority of whether their boobs were worthy, or whether being felt up by geeks desperate for Teh Boobage is worth much as a compliment.
4. And finally, there's the fact that most moderately attractive members of the female sex might as well walk around with green "Yes, it is okay to ask if you can touch me" buttons every goddamn day whether we want to or not. That most of us have dealt with guys who construe anything less than a swift kick to the nuts as an open invitation to stare, leer, flirt, follow, harass, grope, rape. That a lot of us are sick of this shit, sick of having "well she put up with my attempts to converse with her" mean "so obviously she wouldn't mind if I stuck my hand between her legs," and in that kind of language what does "well she said I could touch her boobs" mean?
And that is how the comment thread veered off into general feminist ranting. XD