Ten Little Chances to be Free (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tenlittlebullets) wrote2010-03-23 09:54 pm
tenlittlebullets) wrote2010-03-23 09:54 pm
Better. I think.
Many thanks to everyone who commented about the cat. ♥ I've been pretty down all day, but I'm more functional than I thought I'd be. And she was... well, really old in kitty years. I'm glad she went peacefully, I just wish I could've been there to cuddle her one last time.
I'm on Day Five off medication and starting to feel less exhausted. Getting through class is hard though; all my classes are either two or three hours long, and I start losing focus maybe twenty minutes in. I hope it's like a muscle, and it will start coming back to me the longer I practice paying attention for long stretches of time to mildly-interesting things that are presented waaay tooo sloooowly. The real test will be Thursday: lecture and lab back-to-back, four hours of databases with the prof repeating himself all the time. If I can make it through that without tuning out, I will buy myself a drink.
Mostly I just miss being able to hyperfocus on something I truly find interesting. Either fandom (fic, website, tl;dr forum posts), technical (diabolical plans for what to do with my netbook), or both (crazy project to make a database out of my bootleg list). Current state is definitely better than the crazy mood and energy swings I was getting when taking meds once every two or three days, but I miss being able to sit down and hack away at something for a few hours.
I'm on Day Five off medication and starting to feel less exhausted. Getting through class is hard though; all my classes are either two or three hours long, and I start losing focus maybe twenty minutes in. I hope it's like a muscle, and it will start coming back to me the longer I practice paying attention for long stretches of time to mildly-interesting things that are presented waaay tooo sloooowly. The real test will be Thursday: lecture and lab back-to-back, four hours of databases with the prof repeating himself all the time. If I can make it through that without tuning out, I will buy myself a drink.
Mostly I just miss being able to hyperfocus on something I truly find interesting. Either fandom (fic, website, tl;dr forum posts), technical (diabolical plans for what to do with my netbook), or both (crazy project to make a database out of my bootleg list). Current state is definitely better than the crazy mood and energy swings I was getting when taking meds once every two or three days, but I miss being able to sit down and hack away at something for a few hours.