tenlittlebullets: (angsting now kthx)
Ten Little Chances to be Free ([personal profile] tenlittlebullets) wrote2010-04-02 11:44 pm

Depression is apparently kicking in

Fucking mood swings.

I got nothing done today, I'm halfway through Armance and I swear to god I want to punch all of Stendhal's characters in the throat, I was feeling okay most of the afternoon, I read forty pages of Père Goriot after dinner, and then I got on the internet and my mood went to shit.

I need to get off the internet but I can't. I need to go see the Crime and Punishment exhibit at the Musée d'Orsay, the Orientales exhibit at the Musée Victor Hugo, take another look at the Chopin exhibit at the Musée de la Vie Romantique, go see the Théâtre du Lucernaire's play about George Sand and Prosper Mérimée, student rush the opera, wander around random neighborhoods of Paris, work on the Les Mis/Temeraire crossover, work on the trans Enjolras fic, do my projects for the networking and database classes, book my spring break travel, and generally actually have a life. The sad thing is that I do not do any of these things--I go to my classes, I go to the Smith College building, I waste time on the internet, I sleep twelve hours a day. I am in Paris and I am not taking advantage of that at all. This dates from January at least, but it's only this week that it's been descending into mood swings and outright depression.

I can't cut the umbilical cord entirely, since I have at least three trips to coordinate, registration and housing for next year, and now moderating Abaissé. But I want to severely cut down on my internet time. And every time I've tried, I've failed.