Ten Little Chances to be Free (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tenlittlebullets) wrote2010-10-24 05:54 pm
tenlittlebullets) wrote2010-10-24 05:54 pm
(no subject)
Family weekend has come and gone, my parents managed two family dinners together with no explosions and minimal awkwardness, it was fun while it lasted, and now I am alone with my homework, feeling awful. Everything is making me sad and angry at the same time. People are such spiteful, cruel, judgmental creatures--I could cite examples of things that set me off, but really the best example is my own desire to grab some people and shout "STOP BEING MEAN, YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER SHITS" on very flimsy provocation.
Doesn't help that I have rather a lot of special-studies work to do for tomorrow and still haven't started, the procrastination/guilt cycle is in full swing, and so help me god if anyone starts in with the sanctimonious lectures about how this is a bad life choice, I will cut a bitch. As though I didn't realize that. Realizing it doesn't make it magically stop.
I don't like how "awful" is becoming my default setting. I do have good moods, they're just the exception rather than the rule.
Doesn't help that I have rather a lot of special-studies work to do for tomorrow and still haven't started, the procrastination/guilt cycle is in full swing, and so help me god if anyone starts in with the sanctimonious lectures about how this is a bad life choice, I will cut a bitch. As though I didn't realize that. Realizing it doesn't make it magically stop.
I don't like how "awful" is becoming my default setting. I do have good moods, they're just the exception rather than the rule.