Ten Little Chances to be Free (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tenlittlebullets) wrote2004-10-27 04:46 pm
tenlittlebullets) wrote2004-10-27 04:46 pm
(no subject)
Why have I been in such a shitty mood lately? I've been oscillating from forlorn to melancholy to self-pitying to downright fucking wrathful, and it's not fun. I used to listen to "Friday I'm In Love" and get an instant mood-boost; now whenever I listen to it I just want to cry for no reason whatsoever.
This is all highly irregular.
Mayhaps I need to get outside more--haven't done many random middle-of-the-night walks around the lake since I've gotten back.
Mayhaps I shouldn't be sleeping so much. The absence of general unhappiness makes the whole 'acting like I'm on crack from sleep deprivation' aspect worth it, and certainly better than getting the full eight hours, being in full possession of my mental faculties, and feeling like utter shit most of the time.
Anyway, until further notice I hate myself, or at least some annoying aspects of myself. They might change from day to day and even end up being the complete opposite of what they were before, but hating myself seems to be the prevalent mood lately.
I think I'll go swimming after dinner--might as well take advantage of the indoor pool, get a nice long hot shower in, get some athletic credit. Maybe if I swim until I ache all over outside I'll stop doing this silly aching-all-over-inside thing as well. And at least then it'll be a healthy ache.
Oh, fuck dinner. I can eat later in my room. I'm going now.
This is all highly irregular.
Mayhaps I need to get outside more--haven't done many random middle-of-the-night walks around the lake since I've gotten back.
Mayhaps I shouldn't be sleeping so much. The absence of general unhappiness makes the whole 'acting like I'm on crack from sleep deprivation' aspect worth it, and certainly better than getting the full eight hours, being in full possession of my mental faculties, and feeling like utter shit most of the time.
Anyway, until further notice I hate myself, or at least some annoying aspects of myself. They might change from day to day and even end up being the complete opposite of what they were before, but hating myself seems to be the prevalent mood lately.
I think I'll go swimming after dinner--might as well take advantage of the indoor pool, get a nice long hot shower in, get some athletic credit. Maybe if I swim until I ache all over outside I'll stop doing this silly aching-all-over-inside thing as well. And at least then it'll be a healthy ache.
Oh, fuck dinner. I can eat later in my room. I'm going now.
no subject
Have you been intaking the same amount of caffeine?
Cause that could possibly be why....