Ten Little Chances to be Free (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tenlittlebullets) wrote2004-10-04 06:10 am
tenlittlebullets) wrote2004-10-04 06:10 am
(no subject)
You know what they should offer here? A college survival class.
No, really. This other guy and I were talking about it at dinner the other night. How to cook--not home ec crap, no souffles or anything like that, but how to make stuff like good pasta or whatever to survive on in a dorm kitchen. How not to die of malnutrition. How to do your laundry--yes, there are freshmen with no idea how to do their laundry here, I've smelled them--and how to get the nasty stains out of your clothes without mucking up the rest of the wash as well. How to keep your room from stinking to high heaven. Basic home repair--changing light bulbs, plunging toilets, fixing things when they goddamn break, how to use hammers and screwdrivers and pliers and such without causing yourself major injury. Sewing up your clothes when they rip, replacing buttons that come off. And for those lucky upperclassmen who have cars, how to change the oil or a flat tire, when to bring it into the shop. Balancing your checkbook, applying for a job and having a decent chance of actually getting it. How not to get scammed by those damn confusing IRS forms. All those things you're supposed to know, but no one ever officially teaches you.
Because honestly, what college freshman needs to know how to sew an apron or bake a cake or build furniture or check brake linings? Teach us all the basics, that we may survive our first year of college, and make it a little more pleasant too. I fully admit to being clueless on how to plunge a toilet, remove peristent stains on my clothes, navigate the W-4, or de-toxify the air of my room (which retains the faint odor of burnt popcorn no matter what I do to it). If I want an in-depth class on cooking or sewing or carpentry or cheating on my taxes, I'll goddamn take one, but we need a course that just covers all the bases, however briefly.
Also, next semester? I am going to attempt to sign up for all early-morning and late-afternoon classes, so as to become nocturnal. Because this place is so much better when there are no people walking around. Staying up all night, walking in the fog by the lake with music boxes on my headphones, warm in the below-freezing weather under my cloak. Listening to the water rush under the bridge. Alone. I need to do this more often.
No, really. This other guy and I were talking about it at dinner the other night. How to cook--not home ec crap, no souffles or anything like that, but how to make stuff like good pasta or whatever to survive on in a dorm kitchen. How not to die of malnutrition. How to do your laundry--yes, there are freshmen with no idea how to do their laundry here, I've smelled them--and how to get the nasty stains out of your clothes without mucking up the rest of the wash as well. How to keep your room from stinking to high heaven. Basic home repair--changing light bulbs, plunging toilets, fixing things when they goddamn break, how to use hammers and screwdrivers and pliers and such without causing yourself major injury. Sewing up your clothes when they rip, replacing buttons that come off. And for those lucky upperclassmen who have cars, how to change the oil or a flat tire, when to bring it into the shop. Balancing your checkbook, applying for a job and having a decent chance of actually getting it. How not to get scammed by those damn confusing IRS forms. All those things you're supposed to know, but no one ever officially teaches you.
Because honestly, what college freshman needs to know how to sew an apron or bake a cake or build furniture or check brake linings? Teach us all the basics, that we may survive our first year of college, and make it a little more pleasant too. I fully admit to being clueless on how to plunge a toilet, remove peristent stains on my clothes, navigate the W-4, or de-toxify the air of my room (which retains the faint odor of burnt popcorn no matter what I do to it). If I want an in-depth class on cooking or sewing or carpentry or cheating on my taxes, I'll goddamn take one, but we need a course that just covers all the bases, however briefly.
Also, next semester? I am going to attempt to sign up for all early-morning and late-afternoon classes, so as to become nocturnal. Because this place is so much better when there are no people walking around. Staying up all night, walking in the fog by the lake with music boxes on my headphones, warm in the below-freezing weather under my cloak. Listening to the water rush under the bridge. Alone. I need to do this more often.