Ten Little Chances to be Free (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tenlittlebullets) wrote2004-11-06 05:30 pm
tenlittlebullets) wrote2004-11-06 05:30 pm
(no subject)
I'm hungry. Or was hungry half an hour ago, but my stomach has quieted down for whatever reason.
It's almost strange to be hungry; I suppose I'm something of a compulsive snacker. Eat whenever I'm bored and have nothing else to do, if only to occupy myself. My metabolism is rather forgiving and except for my face (which has always been naturally too round) I've stayed skinny as a stick, but I've always had the nagging thought that perhaps it wasn't good for my health to be eating all the time. It hasn't really caught up to me yet, but now I've been distracted all afternoon and forgotten to eat, I'm remembering that I actually sort of like the feeling of a stomach that's been empty for a while, the grimy taste of your mouth when you haven't eaten all day. Not talking self-starvation, just not eating for a while.
And what have I been doing? I've been reading, thanks very much. Something I haven't been doing nearly enough since my Internet addiction really set in. Okay, true, it's Sandman comics I downloaded from Direct Connect, not even anything printed, but it's the same idea. And it made me realize that my problems are connected. I started snacking nonstop out of boredom right around the time I started to use the Internet a lot, because the 'net isn't <i>absorbing</i> the way a book is. It's easier to take a break, grab some pretzels or candy or whatever, and munch as you surf. Easier to take a snack break when you don't have to tear yourself out of a plot. I've been so utterly bored, sitting in front of my laptop refreshing the same ten pages over and over, falling into the same ruts, that of course I'd do <i>something</i> compulsively if I filled my time with Internet and nothing else. Which I've been doing, unfortunately.
Right. The moral of all this rambling? I need to read more, man. I've practically stopped reading for pleasure in the past few years, and it's high time I fapped myself round the head and got a few good books. And if I kill the overeating habit along the way, well, that's good too.
... I'm stupid. I know that. There's no need to remind me.
And now I'm hungry, and it's time for dinner.
It's almost strange to be hungry; I suppose I'm something of a compulsive snacker. Eat whenever I'm bored and have nothing else to do, if only to occupy myself. My metabolism is rather forgiving and except for my face (which has always been naturally too round) I've stayed skinny as a stick, but I've always had the nagging thought that perhaps it wasn't good for my health to be eating all the time. It hasn't really caught up to me yet, but now I've been distracted all afternoon and forgotten to eat, I'm remembering that I actually sort of like the feeling of a stomach that's been empty for a while, the grimy taste of your mouth when you haven't eaten all day. Not talking self-starvation, just not eating for a while.
And what have I been doing? I've been reading, thanks very much. Something I haven't been doing nearly enough since my Internet addiction really set in. Okay, true, it's Sandman comics I downloaded from Direct Connect, not even anything printed, but it's the same idea. And it made me realize that my problems are connected. I started snacking nonstop out of boredom right around the time I started to use the Internet a lot, because the 'net isn't <i>absorbing</i> the way a book is. It's easier to take a break, grab some pretzels or candy or whatever, and munch as you surf. Easier to take a snack break when you don't have to tear yourself out of a plot. I've been so utterly bored, sitting in front of my laptop refreshing the same ten pages over and over, falling into the same ruts, that of course I'd do <i>something</i> compulsively if I filled my time with Internet and nothing else. Which I've been doing, unfortunately.
Right. The moral of all this rambling? I need to read more, man. I've practically stopped reading for pleasure in the past few years, and it's high time I fapped myself round the head and got a few good books. And if I kill the overeating habit along the way, well, that's good too.
... I'm stupid. I know that. There's no need to remind me.
And now I'm hungry, and it's time for dinner.