Ten Little Chances to be Free (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tenlittlebullets) wrote2004-12-07 04:33 pm
tenlittlebullets) wrote2004-12-07 04:33 pm
(no subject)
God I'm burned out, and it's not even exam week yet. Last night was nice; I went for a long walk in the fresh snow with a mix CD of various solemn classical tunes on my headphones, and it was a really nice night--all crisp and cold and frozen over.
I get back to my room and start to feel like shit. Possibly the result of no sleep for 48 hours or so, but I still have to revise an old paper, it's 3am, I can't think straght and caffeine no longer has an effect on me. So I figure I should probably sleep, and set my alarm to 7:00 so I'll have a nice three hours before class in which to revise my paper.
I wake up. It's 10:15 and I've slept through my alarm, class starts in 15 minutes, I still haven't done my work, and I feel like death warmed over. I make an executive decision to skip class and get the hell back to sleep, don't wake up till it's 1:30 and I'm about to miss a meeting with my academic advisor. Although at this point I do feel slightly ill, I make up some story about feeling a lot shittier than I actually do and get told in no uncertain terms to get my ass back to bed and rest.
And now here I am, I've been t00bing around ebay for two hours when I should be doing my revision to put it in my prof's mailbox and hopefully not get killed too badly. In the past week I've had a shift in perception; before, I was always really bored and had so much time and nothing to do, and now time passes way too fast and I have so many things I like to do and not enough time to do them. I can stay up until the wee hours of morning without even really realizing I'm doing it, and in fact I think my biological clock is trying to force me into going nocturnal.
In other news, I seem to be turning into a goth. No, not an ancient Germanic tribesman, although the language is coming along well and I was the first to finish my final exam in that class. No, I'm talking about a bona fide moping, morbid, black-wearing, angst-filled drama queen. Really, it started with the Sisters. I got curious, downloaded First and Last and Always off Direct Connect, and became an addict. Now I alternate between the Sisters, Joy Division, and Mozart's Requiem, have not worn color--even gray--in weeks, am constantly repressing the urge to abuse black eyeliner, and even watched The Hunger. While taking my long, night-time walk through the snow, I started to compose, in my head, a mix CD of 'music that would be totally awesome to have with you in a graveyard.' I spent the time that should've been spent doing homework doodling designs to paint onto the back of a leather jacket I might buy on ebay, and thinking about what I'd need to make these jeans into bondage pants. Yeah, it's official, folks: I've started turning into a goth.
I adamantly refuse, however, to write poetry. Gratuitously wangsty posts that I spend half an hour writing only to close my client without posting them, yes. Poetry, NO.
Oh, and I checked the sheet music for Mozart's Requiem out of the library. The Lacrymosa is obscenely easy to play on the piano.
I get back to my room and start to feel like shit. Possibly the result of no sleep for 48 hours or so, but I still have to revise an old paper, it's 3am, I can't think straght and caffeine no longer has an effect on me. So I figure I should probably sleep, and set my alarm to 7:00 so I'll have a nice three hours before class in which to revise my paper.
I wake up. It's 10:15 and I've slept through my alarm, class starts in 15 minutes, I still haven't done my work, and I feel like death warmed over. I make an executive decision to skip class and get the hell back to sleep, don't wake up till it's 1:30 and I'm about to miss a meeting with my academic advisor. Although at this point I do feel slightly ill, I make up some story about feeling a lot shittier than I actually do and get told in no uncertain terms to get my ass back to bed and rest.
And now here I am, I've been t00bing around ebay for two hours when I should be doing my revision to put it in my prof's mailbox and hopefully not get killed too badly. In the past week I've had a shift in perception; before, I was always really bored and had so much time and nothing to do, and now time passes way too fast and I have so many things I like to do and not enough time to do them. I can stay up until the wee hours of morning without even really realizing I'm doing it, and in fact I think my biological clock is trying to force me into going nocturnal.
In other news, I seem to be turning into a goth. No, not an ancient Germanic tribesman, although the language is coming along well and I was the first to finish my final exam in that class. No, I'm talking about a bona fide moping, morbid, black-wearing, angst-filled drama queen. Really, it started with the Sisters. I got curious, downloaded First and Last and Always off Direct Connect, and became an addict. Now I alternate between the Sisters, Joy Division, and Mozart's Requiem, have not worn color--even gray--in weeks, am constantly repressing the urge to abuse black eyeliner, and even watched The Hunger. While taking my long, night-time walk through the snow, I started to compose, in my head, a mix CD of 'music that would be totally awesome to have with you in a graveyard.' I spent the time that should've been spent doing homework doodling designs to paint onto the back of a leather jacket I might buy on ebay, and thinking about what I'd need to make these jeans into bondage pants. Yeah, it's official, folks: I've started turning into a goth.
I adamantly refuse, however, to write poetry. Gratuitously wangsty posts that I spend half an hour writing only to close my client without posting them, yes. Poetry, NO.
Oh, and I checked the sheet music for Mozart's Requiem out of the library. The Lacrymosa is obscenely easy to play on the piano.