Ten Little Chances to be Free (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tenlittlebullets) wrote2005-05-24 01:09 am
tenlittlebullets) wrote2005-05-24 01:09 am
(no subject)
Saw Revenge of the Sith. I kinda liked it, but maybe that's because I walked into the theater with such low expectations--the Star Wars prequels are like the horrible abusive significant other that you stay with partly out of nostalgia for what a nice person they used to be, partly out of some crazy hope that they might stop smacking you around. And when they finally start to show some trace of humanity it's such an improvement that you just want to throw your arms around them and kiss them and possibly fuck them into the mattress as thanks. Yeah. That was Episode III.
The Good
- Special effects were SO MUCH BETTER than the first two. Jesus Christ, they actually looked like real objects instead of shiny glossy things imported from a video game. I and II lacked a certain amount of realism in the animation, but the spaceships and such actually looked like they sustained ordinary wear and tear in this one. Devil's in the details, and this is the first time I was cheering on the gratuitous CGI instead of flinching at it.
- The whole 'look' of the movie was a lot closer to the original trilogy. It was darker, grittier, and the characters started to resemble what they (or their offspring *cough*) would look like in Episode IV. Not to mention a number of extremely direct references to IV, loose ends being tied up, and so on. And a lot of the setup for ANH is loose ends; the majority of the story stands on its own.
- The plot. Sweet Jesus, I love the plot. George Lucas made up for the shitty plots in the first two prequels with this one. Blah blah, no direct spoilers because there are still people out there who haven't seen it and they'd both get mad at me if I spoiled it. =P
- Hayden Christensen is the sex. So is Natalie Portman, although the Twi'ilek Jedi is hotter. In all five seconds of screen time that she gets. But seriously, bring on the Anakin/Padme pr0n. Or the Anakin/Obi-Wan, 'cause that'd be equally hot and they had a really slashy vibe going anyway.
-Ewan McGregor. And Samuel L. Jackson. Kickass, man. So was Ian McDiarmid, come to think of it.
- If you squint, Hayden Christensen actually acts once or twice.
The Bad
- Most of the time, he doesn't act. In fact, a lot of the 'acting' is downright flinch-worthy. If Lucas had spent a tenth of the effort on finding good actors that he had on special effects, this movie would've been ten times better.
- Believability issues with Anakin's turn to the dark side. If you accept it on its own terms it makes for some really kickass moments in the film, but this aspect was painfully rushed and not explained well enough.
- Related to the above, I'll never be able to watch the original trilogy again without wondering if Vader is nothing more than some broken-hearted wangsty brat under the armor and the James Earl Jones voice. It's like bad fanfiction. *shudder*
The Ugly
- Anakin after being burninated. But that was ugly in a good way.
- THE DIALOGUE SUCKED SO BAD OMGWTFBBQ. Word processors everywhere should get a restraining order for George Lucas, and he himself should get himself a competent scriptwriter. Jesus freakin' Christ in a pushup bra, the dialogue was awful. Natalie Portman should just stab the fucker for making her say some of the things she did. It wasn't quite as horrible as Episode II, but it was pretty damn bad, especially the Anakin/Padme bits. Fuck the romance, give me the porn.
- One word, which the people who have seen it will understand: "NOOOOOOOOOO!"
Overall? Three and a half out of five, and I'd watch it again just for evil!Anakin. Also I had a weird moment walking back to the car from the theater, where the street I was on looked suspiciously like some of the animation work. Which says good things about ILM, I suppose.
Using this icon because the Emperor is teh shiznit. Brownie points and geeky love to anyone who recognizes where I scanned it from, even if I took it completely out of context and made it all vampy.
The Good
- Special effects were SO MUCH BETTER than the first two. Jesus Christ, they actually looked like real objects instead of shiny glossy things imported from a video game. I and II lacked a certain amount of realism in the animation, but the spaceships and such actually looked like they sustained ordinary wear and tear in this one. Devil's in the details, and this is the first time I was cheering on the gratuitous CGI instead of flinching at it.
- The whole 'look' of the movie was a lot closer to the original trilogy. It was darker, grittier, and the characters started to resemble what they (or their offspring *cough*) would look like in Episode IV. Not to mention a number of extremely direct references to IV, loose ends being tied up, and so on. And a lot of the setup for ANH is loose ends; the majority of the story stands on its own.
- The plot. Sweet Jesus, I love the plot. George Lucas made up for the shitty plots in the first two prequels with this one. Blah blah, no direct spoilers because there are still people out there who haven't seen it and they'd both get mad at me if I spoiled it. =P
- Hayden Christensen is the sex. So is Natalie Portman, although the Twi'ilek Jedi is hotter. In all five seconds of screen time that she gets. But seriously, bring on the Anakin/Padme pr0n. Or the Anakin/Obi-Wan, 'cause that'd be equally hot and they had a really slashy vibe going anyway.
-Ewan McGregor. And Samuel L. Jackson. Kickass, man. So was Ian McDiarmid, come to think of it.
- If you squint, Hayden Christensen actually acts once or twice.
The Bad
- Most of the time, he doesn't act. In fact, a lot of the 'acting' is downright flinch-worthy. If Lucas had spent a tenth of the effort on finding good actors that he had on special effects, this movie would've been ten times better.
- Believability issues with Anakin's turn to the dark side. If you accept it on its own terms it makes for some really kickass moments in the film, but this aspect was painfully rushed and not explained well enough.
- Related to the above, I'll never be able to watch the original trilogy again without wondering if Vader is nothing more than some broken-hearted wangsty brat under the armor and the James Earl Jones voice. It's like bad fanfiction. *shudder*
The Ugly
- Anakin after being burninated. But that was ugly in a good way.
- THE DIALOGUE SUCKED SO BAD OMGWTFBBQ. Word processors everywhere should get a restraining order for George Lucas, and he himself should get himself a competent scriptwriter. Jesus freakin' Christ in a pushup bra, the dialogue was awful. Natalie Portman should just stab the fucker for making her say some of the things she did. It wasn't quite as horrible as Episode II, but it was pretty damn bad, especially the Anakin/Padme bits. Fuck the romance, give me the porn.
- One word, which the people who have seen it will understand: "NOOOOOOOOOO!"
Overall? Three and a half out of five, and I'd watch it again just for evil!Anakin. Also I had a weird moment walking back to the car from the theater, where the street I was on looked suspiciously like some of the animation work. Which says good things about ILM, I suppose.
Using this icon because the Emperor is teh shiznit. Brownie points and geeky love to anyone who recognizes where I scanned it from, even if I took it completely out of context and made it all vampy.