Ten Little Chances to be Free (
tenlittlebullets) wrote2005-09-14 08:30 am
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So that paper I was supposed to be writing? The one that's, theoretically speaking, due today in about two hours?
Let's put it this way: The last thing I coherently remember is consuming excessive quantities of Jolt and perhaps a No-Doz pill. I know I wrote after that, because in the morning I woke up to the shrieking of my alarm with my notebook in my lap. Here is what was written in it:
Dear Brain,
Caffeine makes you concentrate, yes, but it would be nice if you could concentrate on Darwin instead of going into spiritual/religious anxiety overdrive.
Hugs and Kisses,
Self
Dear Self,
--FART--
Deepest affection,
Brain
After that edifying conversation was three-quarters of what resembled a five-page paper, written in a style which at best could be called "quaint" and at worst could be called "the product of not reading many books written after 1900," in which a gibbon and a warbler finch get together over tea and argue about Darwin's scientific method.
I swear I am not making this shit up.
Let's put it this way: The last thing I coherently remember is consuming excessive quantities of Jolt and perhaps a No-Doz pill. I know I wrote after that, because in the morning I woke up to the shrieking of my alarm with my notebook in my lap. Here is what was written in it:
Dear Brain,
Caffeine makes you concentrate, yes, but it would be nice if you could concentrate on Darwin instead of going into spiritual/religious anxiety overdrive.
Hugs and Kisses,
Self
Dear Self,
--FART--
Deepest affection,
Brain
After that edifying conversation was three-quarters of what resembled a five-page paper, written in a style which at best could be called "quaint" and at worst could be called "the product of not reading many books written after 1900," in which a gibbon and a warbler finch get together over tea and argue about Darwin's scientific method.
I swear I am not making this shit up.