Ten Little Chances to be Free (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tenlittlebullets) wrote2007-07-22 10:50 pm
tenlittlebullets) wrote2007-07-22 10:50 pm
And now your requisite biweekly angst post.
I feel like I'm wasting my life, like there are a thousand things I could be learning and doing instead of just sitting on my arse due to my own laziness and timidity.
I want to continue to improve my French after I get home. Here, I have the chance to practice, but I'm not actually learning in the classroom sense. And I like learning in the classroom sense. And I want to take up Latin and German again, and dabble in Greek--and get another voice teacher and try to go back to playing the piano even if I got ruined on the piano by four months with a bad teacher, and take up a new instrument. Flute, maybe, or cello. And actually take classes and learn how to sew. And dance--I have this horrible feeling I'd need a private instructor for any kind of dance, though, because in any sort of group dance lesson I am always the slow stupid kid and it makes me too embarrassed to enjoy it much. And go back to science because I never had a proper chemistry or physics course, and that interests me. I might even be willing to properly learn calculus if it were a prerequisite.
But no. I sit here refreshing my friends list instead of getting out and learning things.
(why the hell am I pondering this now in the middle of my trip to France?)
And the sad thing is that when I actually get to school, the initial rush of "Ooh, shiny, I want to study ____!" always gives way to sensible things like credit requirements and transcripts and courseloads. Bah I say, bah!
I want to continue to improve my French after I get home. Here, I have the chance to practice, but I'm not actually learning in the classroom sense. And I like learning in the classroom sense. And I want to take up Latin and German again, and dabble in Greek--and get another voice teacher and try to go back to playing the piano even if I got ruined on the piano by four months with a bad teacher, and take up a new instrument. Flute, maybe, or cello. And actually take classes and learn how to sew. And dance--I have this horrible feeling I'd need a private instructor for any kind of dance, though, because in any sort of group dance lesson I am always the slow stupid kid and it makes me too embarrassed to enjoy it much. And go back to science because I never had a proper chemistry or physics course, and that interests me. I might even be willing to properly learn calculus if it were a prerequisite.
But no. I sit here refreshing my friends list instead of getting out and learning things.
(why the hell am I pondering this now in the middle of my trip to France?)
And the sad thing is that when I actually get to school, the initial rush of "Ooh, shiny, I want to study ____!" always gives way to sensible things like credit requirements and transcripts and courseloads. Bah I say, bah!